


For Their Own Good

by ChaoticNeutral



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Anti-Imprinting, Bad Ending, F/M, Paranoia, The Author Regrets Everything, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral
Summary: In which imprinting is taken to its natural conclusion.
 
Just a friendly warning: this won’t be pleasant.
Seriously. Don’t read it unless you WANT to be disturbed. We're talking "For You, I Will" kind of disturbed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Yet another story that was originally on the pro boards forum until it was taken down and I've eventually decided to rework and repost because it's late and I'm clearly not depressed or disturbed enough.
> 
>  
> 
> No, don’t ask. You don’t want to know. I don’t even know anymore. I hate this story and I hate myself for writing it.

 

* * *

 

**For Their Own Good**

 

It was always there now. Like a niggling at the back of my mind. Always there. Always reminding me every moment of every day of the horrible truth.

 

I had no rest from the fear. Even when I slept, my mind created nightmares to torment me with all the horrible possibilities. Every single ‘what if’ and ‘could be’ that could happen pounding through my head as one tortuous scene after another after another, all because I wasn’t strong or wary enough. It never ended. Each scenario would play out to it’s bitter end, leaving me shaking and weak, believing that nothing—NOTHING could be worse than what I had seen just then...

 

Only for the next one to prove me wrong.

 

These weren’t dreams, I knew! I recognized them for what they were.

 

Visions. Of the future. Of the endless unbearable possibilities waiting for me because of my weakness. My foolishness.

 

Reminding me just how easy it would be to lose everything.

 

To lose her.

 

It started out so simple. There she was...beautiful. Perfect. Everything I could ever want, all that beauty and wonder wrapped up in one woman that made all others look colorless in comparison.

 

It was like seeing heaven. It was heaven. Just being there with her, seeing her smile. Feeling the warmth of her touch, her skin as soft as flower petals...

 

I knew at the moment I first saw her that it was love. That it was the truest form of love I could have ever experienced. It didn't matter that I was already promised to another. It didn't matter that she was that girl's cousin. Nothing else mattered.

 

I just wanted to be with her. To keep that smile on her face. To be the one to make her smile. But I was afraid. What if I wasn't worthy of her? What if she rejected me?

 

But she didn't. Full of kindness and grace, she accepted me. She forgave me for my flaws and even despite what I had done, she had redeemed me.

 

She was truly an angel.

 

But I wasn't the only one to realize that.

 

Strangers, outsiders, the Cold Ones, even those from our reservation could see her shining light and could not help but be drawn to it.

 

It was heaven at first...just being there, with her.

 

But heaven was just the two of us, and here on Earth, there were others present. And my instincts made me aware of every little thing. Every single threat to her. To us.

 

Heaven had swiftly become a paradise under siege, and growing ever smaller.

 

It all seemed so insignificant at the start. It was just her and me. No one else mattered. Or at least, I thought they didn't.

 

But then, with my heightened senses, I couldn't help but be drawn from her to notice how others acted around her. Like an itch, I could feel it every time she came under scrutiny.

 

I couldn’t stand it. The way they all looked at her. Feeling their eyes on her—not knowing what they wanted with her or from her or if it was just...her. Something in me wanted to jerk every time someone's gaze would fall on her. And the ceaseless questions followed. What did they want? Why were they staring? What were they thinking?

 

The eyes seemed to follow us everywhere.

 

No, not us. Her.

 

And the worst part was, I was the only one who knew it.

 

When I would try to express my concerns to her, she would simply laugh them off in that beautiful way of hers, telling me not to be silly. That she would never pick anyone else over me. That I was the only one for her just as she was the only one for me.

 

But she didn’t get it.

 

I never doubted her love for me. I never would. She was too loyal and beautiful and _perfect_ to allow doubt...

 

My perfect Emily. She would never choose to leave me. She loved me too much. Just as much as I loved her.

 

She would never lose me. I was a wolf. I was strong. Powerful. Nothing would ever pull me from her side.

 

Emiily, though, was human. She couldn’t fight, she was too kind to. And her kindness would only endear so many. As much as she tried to console me, nothing she said would seem to help. She simply didn’t understand.

 

I knew the truth.

 

It had taken me some time, but I had come to realize the horrible, horrible truth. What my instincts were trying to tell me. What the imprint was trying to protect.

 

I was in danger of losing her. Forever.

 

The realization was both enlightening and cruel.

 

I would never be taken from her. But there were so many things that would take her from me. The Cold Ones. Even normal people.

 

Even time...

 

As long as I continue to phase, time can be infinite for me.

 

But not for her.

 

In being a wolf, I could protect her...

 

But in being a wolf, I would lose her.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Hmm...? Is something wrong?”_

_“I don’t know...I can’t explain it. Just...be careful, okay, Emily?”_

_“I’ll be fine. Sam is always with me, after all!”_

_“...”_

 

* * *

 

The inner itch, the feeling of being watched--of ever present danger not only became constant, but grew quickly in such a short time.

 

Nothing could calm me anymore.

 

Even simply being with her wasn’t enough anymore. Used to, her voice would soothe me. All I needed was her gentle touch to feel at ease. But now, it was all I could do not to cling to her like a child, as even then I found no ease from the torment. It wasn’t enough.

 

It was never enough.

 

Part of me wondered if I was going mad.

 

What was this feeling? And why? Why was I being tortured this way? Why me?

 

But it wasn't just me.

 

I wasn’t the only one to be forced into this realization, I eventually found. The others felt it, too. That constant fear hounding their thoughts, hiding in the back of their minds, just waiting for them to let their guard down so it could remind them with the utmost cruelty of the endless possibilities. Just like with me, it ruined any sense of peace they could obtain.

 

They knew, just like I knew. And while I did find some relief in that there were others who understood my agony, that did nothing to lessen the overwhelming thoughts and feelings that would jab at my senses in the day and tear into every corner of my unprotected mind at night.

 

I was overcome—waking and sleeping—with countless thoughts of everything that could happen. All the ways I could lose her. And I became wary. Of everything.

 

That growing paranoia.

 

I just...couldn’t...stand it.

 

I wasn’t alone, but even united, we would still fail to protect them. The most important things in our lives and no matter what we did, we would still end up losing them.

 

That knowledge, we carried like a weight around our necks, a burden that would never ease. Every smile was strained. Every moment of happiness tainted with this aura of negativity. We knew no peace. And we knew we would never be able to until we found an answer. We had even taken to running extra patrols, meeting in secret to discuss the problem, soon resorting to the use of alcohol and other means more and more regularly in an attempt to find relief.

 

But nothing helped.

 

The others started to become concerned about us, but none of them could understand. None of them knew the growing trepidation or the gnawing turmoil we had to endure. That cold and softly creeping sensation of building unease crawling up our backs no matter how hard we tried to shake it off. And as much as those or the pack would try to help ease our worry, for all their good intentions, having their added focus on our imprints only made things worse. It reached the point where one day I watched Seth—little Seth simply helping Emily carry groceries and found myself imagining—fantasizing almost as I started estimating how much force would be necessary to snap his neck and how to best strike before he was aware enough to struggle and potentially alert any others before I realized I was genuinely considering murder.

 

But what was more horrifying, I couldn't determine. That I so easily fell into almost eagerly planning out how to kill someone I knew and cared for, or how little it mattered to me that I had been doing so once I realized at that time.

 

...We would all go mad soon enough if something wasn’t done.

 

* * *

 

_“Have any of you noticed anything off about the others, lately?”_

_“What? They’ve just been more tired. It’s hard trying to keep up with all the leeches coming around.”_

_"When was the last time any of them patrolled with us?_

_"I would have thought you'd appreciate the time away?"_

_“So did I...”_

 

* * *

 

It was Jared who came up with the idea, however unintentionally, at another of our meetings to find a solution. In his half-drunk state, he blurted it out, no real conviction behind it at the time.

 

But once it was said, it was like that horrible weight had finally started to lift. Looking around at the others, I could tell that I wasn’t the only one to feel it.

 

Was this it? The answer we had been looking for?

 

A couple of the others tried to laugh it off at first, but the more time went on, the more the wariness and fear struck back at full force, and that small sliver of relief seemed like a godsend to our weary minds.

 

If we could just keep them somewhere _safe_.

 

We came to realize that this was the only way.

 

So we planned. We worked, devoting all of our free time to this end. It left us tired and sore, but we knew it would ease the torment.

 

It was a difficult decision. One I never would have thought I’d have to make. But in the end, there was no option. There wasn't even another choice to be made.

 

No matter what, I would keep her _safe_.

 

I would do anything for her.

 

As long as she remained by my side.

 

* * *

 

_"They've been spending an awful lot of time by themselves, lately."_

_"Eh, maybe it's an imprint thing?"_

_"That takes them away from their imprints?"_

_"I think they're planning something special for the girls. They’re just focused on their project for now. Once it’s over, they should be a lot less stressed.”_

_“Does anyone even know what they’re building?”_

_“...”_

_“...”_

_“...Guys?”_

_“Well, it’s probably not any of our business anyway.”_

 

* * *

 

It took some time, but we finished it.

 

Our safehouse.

 

Our little piece of sanctuary dedicated to the loves of our lives.

 

A heaven only reserved for those chosen to be worthy of it.

 

For our chosen ones.

 

It was beautiful.

 

Surely, they would appreciate its beauty and the effort we had made for them. This monument of our love for each of them. Building it was difficult. Keeping them from discovering the surprise before we could complete it was even more difficult. But we endured.

 

And then, finally, we gathered them together and presented our offering to them.

 

We knew there might be some resistance to the idea, but it was for the best. They would understand soon enough.

 

And so we opened the door to their paradise...

 

* * *

  

_"Wow, it must be some trip for them to be gone this long."_

_"Has anyone even heard from them?"_

_"Stop worrying so much. If anything was wrong, the other guys would know, being bonded and all that."_

_"But should they really be doing this well? With the girls so far away, they're seriously not feeling anything?"_

_"I'm sure it's fine. The guys probably know that they're safe."_

 

* * *

 

Of course, the girls didn’t like it at first. They yelled and cried and begged, and it took everything we had not to cave. Emily’s tears wore at me and nearly broke me completely, but I knew I had to remain firm. All of us did. This was for their sake. It was the only way to keep them safe—keep them with us, and eventually—as we knew they would—they realized that as well and quieted down.

 

And for the first time in what felt like years...I was content.

 

* * *

 

_“I need a favor.”_

_“Why me?”_

_“Because you’re the only one who can do it.”_

_“Do what?”_

_“Prove me wrong.”_

 

* * *

 

It was Leah who ruined everything. I should have expected it. She was still just as jealous and bitter over everything as ever, so of course she couldn’t stand to see anyone else be happy. I couldn’t stand her, but dearest Emily—with her infinite forgiveness—wanted to reconcile with her, to be a family again...and of course, I couldn’t deny her, even if I knew it to be futile.

 

Leah simply wasn’t worth it. I don’t even know how I had been able to waste those years with her when Emily had been right there all along, waiting for me.

 

But I should have been more cautious. I knew Leah was watching, but I didn’t care. I hardly took notice. How could I even see her dreariness past the bask of Emily’s radiance? So caught up in the bliss of finally achieving peace of mind now that I had been able to assure Emily’s safety from any outside threat, I completely overlooked the growing threat from within our own borders.

 

Even though I hadn’t been watching her, she had certainly been watching me—watching all of us. The miserable harpy she was, she had taken to glaring at us in envy, seething with inner hatred as we all enjoyed a happiness she couldn’t partake in. And of course, being Leah, she wouldn’t let us be.

 

Heaven forbid anyone be happy when Leah Clearwater is around.

 

So Leah stormed into my home like a mad animal, shouting and making demands like she still had any say in anything about my life. I tried to be polite—at least as much as I could force myself to when dealing with my bitter, obsessed ex—but then she started questioning me on what I had been doing with Emily. Honestly, it was really none of her business what we do. She’s not part of my life anymore. I didn’t even want her being part of Emily’s life. She didn’t deserve us or our love.

 

No, only we were deserving of each other’s love. And now all of Emily’s love was focused on me. Just me. Like it should be.

 

And Leah—cold, ugly Leah was trying to ruin that. Just like she’d ruined everything else.

 

I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. Not anymore.

 

So I slapped her like the bitch she is.

 

It felt good. Better than I’d ever imagined. Seeing the shocked look on her face—like she couldn’t believe I’d dare hurt her—was almost laughable. And already, a red mark was forming from the hit, several scratches openly bleeding right around her eye.

 

Seeing them reminded me of Emily.

 

My vision went red.

 

Why should Leah be allowed to have a whole face when Emily couldn’t?

 

It made me want to fix that.

 

“Sam, what the hell are you doing?!”

 

Then why leave only half? Might as well scar her face completely.

 

She should be just as ugly on the outside as she is inside.

 

What’s wrong, Leah? You were always bitching about your emotional scars before. How about some physical ones to match?

 

Seeing her staring up at me in fear was a strange feeling. She was finally in her place, on the ground in front of me like she’d deserved. I could actually smell her fear and found it appropriate for her.

 

The scent wasn’t nearly as nice as Emily’s was, though.

 

It would have to do.

 

But before I could move, something slammed into me from behind, sending me sprawling to the floor. Looking up in a daze, I felt anger and that all too familiar fear rise at seeing that damned pale-faced, golden-eyed bastard pinning me to the ground.

 

“What are you doing here?!” What was he DOING here? How DARE he? Was he going to completely disregard the treaty?

 

“Leah invited me.”

 

That witch! I knew she was jealous, but to go so far? To actually INVITE the enemy onto our land? Into my own home?

 

It didn’t matter. Even if one of our own betrayed us, I wasn’t letting any leech near my Emily.

 

But it was Leah who took advantage of my current state and began to search my home while the leech continued to hold me down. It rankled me that I had been overpowered, but we had planned for this. This was the very reason we’d thought ahead to go to such lengths. Even the other shifters in their wolf forms hadn’t realized, and they frequented the house daily—unlike the harpy, who knew she wasn’t welcome.

 

I couldn't contain the howls of fury as she intruded into every area of my home, searching through our things for something she had no right to. I wanted to smirk, secure in the knowledge she would never find anything, but to do so would alert the mind-reader and reveal the path. I would never do that to Emily.

 

Sweet, beautiful, perfect, _eternally mine Emily..._

 

It seemed as though hours had passed before Leah returned, though I knew it had been but a few minutes. I bit back a growing terror as she made her way to a certain area of the kitchen.

 

Impossible! The others never even noticed! That was why we hid it here in the first place, so any trace of the sanctuary would remain covered! Leah may be the fastest, but surely her other senses weren’t that advanced!

 

“Can you smell it?”

 

“Yes. Here.”

 

NO!

 

They found the door! That bitch! How did she find it?! That hidden door was the only thing protecting her! The only thing that stood between my sun and everything that wanted to tear her from me!

 

My attempt to lunge at her was thwarted by the damned mind reader slamming me into the ground once again before I could successfully buck him off. But even though I failed to reach the traitor, she stumbled nonetheless as she gazed through the doorway to my paradise.

 

The beauty was too much for her.

 

Leah fell to her knees, gasping and retching. Perhaps my pure dedication to Emily has finally gotten through to her. I would have had more sympathy for her, but she was a bitch who made us miserable for our well-deserved happiness, betrayed us all, and allowed these monsters onto our land just to ruin our wonderful new lives. She didn't even deserve my pity.

 

But she still couldn’t accept it, it seems, and spun around on me, looking every bit the angry harpy we’d all long known her to be as she slammed her fist into my face over and over—something I never would have allowed, nor would someone so pathetic as she even have been capable of doing had the coward not have the leech hold me down for her.

 

“WHY?!” She screeched at me. “WHY, DAMMIT?! WHY?!!”

 

I couldn’t answer her. My jaw hurt too much to speak, and even if I could, I didn’t understand what she was going on about. I didn’t even see a point in deigning her with an answer.

 

It was love. What would Leah know about it? Whatever we had—whatever she THOUGHT we’d had couldn’t even compare to this. Emily was my life. My world. My sky. My everything. There was nothing BUT her. I couldn’t stand the idea of life without her...so I made sure she’d be with me forever. I never held that sort of dedication to Leah. She was unworthy of it.

 

Only gentle, wonderful Emily—my beautiful goddess—deserved my everlasting devotion. My everlasting protection. An eternal paradise safe in my shrine to her.

 

Hearing my thoughts, Edward gave me a disturbed look. “You’re insane.”

 

I laughed despite the pain.

 

“Love makes you crazy.”

 

At that, Leah gave a strangled scream and punched me once more, sending me to oblivion.

 

I should have expected it. She still couldn’t cope with my love for Emily.

 

* * *

 

Leah sat on her couch, curled up with her knees pulled to her chest, staring impassively at the images on the muted television in front of her and steadfastly trying to ignore her unwanted visitor. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to talk to anybody. Not after finding out the truth.

 

Edward fidgeted, awkwardly. Even though he could read her thoughts to an extent, he didn’t know what to do or how to react. What could he possibly say after everything? ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t anywhere near enough. Not this late. Not from him. Nothing could be at this point. But he could not in good conscience leave things this way.

 

He was quickly coming to learn that his vampiric status and abilities couldn’t solve everything. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. Never had his mind-reading not been able to give him all the answers. With his power, he always knew what to say, what to do, how to act to get the best response or dissuade unwanted attention. It had prevented many troubles and solved many a growing issue throughout the past three centuries.

 

But it couldn’t fix this. And for once, Edward was left feeling truly lost in a way he never had with Bella.

 

It was...quite jarring, to say the least.

 

“It...wasn’t your fault.” Damn it. His words sounded so horribly weak and hollow. Was sympathy truly so beyond him now?

 

It was shameful to admit (though he certainly hadn't felt as such at the time), he had been particularly smug when she first approached him. The vicious and haughty Leah Clearwater, reduced to asking for help from one of the people she openly hated. To "prove her wrong" of all things. At the time, he relished that the sight of her pleading would be a memory he would always be able to look back on with perfect clarity.

 

But now? He would gladly forget it if he could—if his vampiric abilities and eidetic memories would ever let him. Just forget it and the sound of her cries and Samuel Uley's deranged mental laughter he was now sure would forever echo in his head as well. All while he simply stood there, useless for little more than to hold down a  _mad dog_.

 

Edward clenched his fists at the memory and the knowledge that came with it.

 

If he had just _done something_...

 

“I should have done more.” He jerked back. Those words...

 

They shouldn’t have been said by _her_.

 

“You did everything you could, Leah.” He told her immediately, honestly surprised in his meaning every word. “Everything and more.”

 

More than anyone had. More than anyone else had bothered to try to. Not Jacob and his position as the true alpha. Not even Edward and his mental ability—and god, didn’t that just make something in him twist in self-loathing that he would be so _blind_?

 

No, the _only one_ who looked past the front and saw...the only one who _tried_...

 

“...But it’s never enough, is it?”

 

He forced himself not to wince, knowing full well even without reading her mind just what she meant.

 

Because it wasn't. And it was only now that he realized how truly unfair that was. Because for all that she tried—for all that she deserved to be, it was never enough. Not enough for Sam. Not enough for Emily. Not enough for her father or her family or her pack. Not enough...not ever enough...not even for this—for this one  _damn thing!_

 

He bit his lip in what felt to him to be the first open sign of uncertainty since he’d been turned. He found he didn't like it.

 

“For what it’s worth, Leah...I’m sorry. For everything.”

 

Leah glanced at him from the corner of her eye. After a minute of silence, she reached for the remote and un-muted the television, causing Edward to openly cringe whereas she simply looked on, blankly.

 

“...standing outside the residence where the bodies of the missing women were discovered after having been entombed alive since they first disappeared. The owner and several others implicated in the crime have been taken into custody...”

 

“So am I.”

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Okay, I’m gonna go curl up into a ball in a dark corner somewhere and question my mentality now.


End file.
